NEW YORK COMIC CON 2013: PART 1

New York Comic Con is the second largest comic and pop culture convention in the U.S. This was my first time at Comic Con, and as a newly hatched comic book nerdling with a 4-day pass, I was damn excited. I traveled all the way from Chicago just for this event, and I've got lots of stories to share!

Note: If anyone sees any photos on here that they wish to have removed, please email me at comicallyoverblown@gmail.com and I'll gladly take them down for you!

DAY 1

I was staying in New York with a friend of mine whom we'll call Solis for privacy purposes. She and I are friends from my days as a zookeeper - er, I mean, junior high school English teacher in Japan. To keep things inexpensive, we decided to stay at the Y.M.C.A. which, for the record, is not fun to stay at - unless your definition of "fun" is chewing gum on the floors of the showers, a mattress like a loose hammock, two toilet stalls on a floor with a hundred girls, and a raging mold problem. Lesson learned.

After escaping the Y.M.C.A. - where I'm pretty sure the movie Hostel was filmed - Solis set out to prove to me that New York bagels are superior to Chicago ones. To do so, she took me to Tal Bagels, where I discovered that yes... yes they are. New York bagels are fucking awesome. So crispy on the outside, so chewy on the inside. Look at this glory. Look at it!

It's beautiful *cries*

NYCC takes place at the Javits Center, which turned out to be a sprawling metropolis. I seriously did not realize the scope of this thing until I got there. I mean, holy crap...

That right there is just the line to get into the building, and the weirdos began appearing immediately:

It's a cactus in a cowboy hat. Duh.

At last, we got in!

The true size of the place wasn't obvious at first, but it just kept getting bigger.

I mean, I'm from Chicago. I'm not some small-town bumpkin who has a seizure at the sight of a mall with more than twenty stores, but dayum, there was an ass-load of people. Wow.

Right out front they had these really cool painted cars:

Cosplayers began appearing at the entrance, like this lady Deadpool. 

Hey! Hey! What the hell did I do?!

She was certainly sexier than the cross-dressing Wonder Woman.

Not sure where to begin, Solis and I wandered into the exhibition hall. The first thing we saw upon entering was Tom's Rhinoplasty. We walked in and it was just like, boom, South Park:

That was the moment when Solis and I became completely overwhelmed by the sheer awesomeness of Comic Con. I mean, the exhibition hall was huge. We stood there for several minutes going, "where the fuck do we start?!" 

After we got over our paralysis, one of the first things we ran across was Lola from "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.!"

Hey good lookin'!

The Marvel area had a massive Thor advertisement, too:

*internal seizure*

It was the 10th anniversary of The Walking Dead comic series:

This was also happening:

And this. Because nothing says "ready for sex" like a Star Trek bathrobe:

For the record, both my parents are Trekkies.

A wall of plushies:

But wait, what's... what's Thor's hand doing down there?! Thor, stop that!

"I need an adult!"

Even Harry Potter was represented at Comic Con:

I found a Bellatrix Lestrange cutout and took a picture with her because why the fuck not:

Hey, look, Game of Thrones bobbleheads!

They had a Ned Stark one, so I made a really inappropriate joke, and Solis told me it was "too soon."

We came across a booth selling really rare autographs. Like, holy crap, you can buy Brandon Lee and Heath Ledger autographs if you've got thousands of dollars in your back pocket:

We also found a giant Lego thing from Halo:

And Star Trek figurines:

"Live long and buy our shit"

Also found the DeLorean!

And the motherfuckin' Batmobile:

It's a special moment when you realize you're riding an escalator behind the Power Rangers:

Hey, we found Inspector Gadget! His propeller spun around and everything!

Hey, old-school Batman and Superman!

And Morbidly Obese Pikachu:

Time to lay off the Aprijuice.

I don't even know what's going on anymore:

Omigawd, they were selling Leeloo Dallas Multi Pass:

Totally overwhelmed by all the stuff going on, Solis and I wandered over to the painfully overpriced food court to get some pasta. Every single table had a Ninja Gaiden hot sauce sitting on it:

Keep away from balls?! Shouldn't be a problem.

The sauce was legitimately delicious, so I dumped about a fourth of the bottle on my pasta.

Later in the day, Solis and I decided to go to the kickoff show, Comedy Mutant, featuring Brian Posehn (the current co-writer of Deadpool), Mike Drucker (a writer for the Jimmy Fallon show), Myq Kaplan, and Janeane Garofalo (plus a few others). The staff let the line enter in small groups only, and the lady cut the line off right in front of a guy in a Predator costume. The people behind him kept yelling at him to push past her 'cause he's, "a freakin' Predator!" and he "doesn't have to take that!" Unfortunately, the Predator was no match for a middle-aged woman with a staff badge.

Onto Comedy Mutant!

Brian Posehn opened the show, then a bunch of other comedians performed. Afterwards, Posehn returned for the closing routine. All the comedians were hilarious, especially because they were very nerdy, and they really understood the audience. The biggest surprise of the night was the unannounced Trevor Moore from The Whitest Kids U' Know. He came on stage with his guitar and sang songs about circumcision and the joys of drinking mouthwash. You can check out the hilarious music video here:

I was pretty excited to see Janeane Garofalo, but I'll admit, it really wasn't her crowd. Her jokes fell pretty flat. She had a notebook with her that she kept consulting, because apparently she didn't remember her material. That doesn't seem very professional...

The star of the show was undoubtedly Brian Posehn. That man is so goddamn funny, I actually wanted him to get off the stage because I was getting a stomachache from laughing. I don't think my diaphragm was meant to do whatever the hell it was doing. Posehn's act is about how "fat" and "old" and "gross" he is, which I found horrifyingly relatable despite being a twenty-four year old girl. My favorite bit of the night was when Posehn talked about how The Avengers is a movie that has to be viewed naked, and that Loki getting Hulk-smashed is a "dick out" moment. Thank you, Posehn. Truly.

When the kickoff ended, Solis and I went back to our nightmare hostel to get some sleep in time for...

Day 2

Solis decided to do a Thor cosplay, so I forced us to take a selfie together:

#fabulous

This was what greeted us when we walked in the front doors:

There's an actual person in that suit.

First up on our Friday agenda was to check out the Game of Thrones panel with Jerome Flynn, who plays the roguish sellsword, Bronn. Solis and I went to the panel early in order to get a good seat. What we didn't realize, however, was that we'd actually gone in so early, we now had to sit through another panel, which turned out to be an hour-long concert video of Hatsune Miku. For those who don't know, Hatsune Miku is a computerized Japanese vocalist. She also looks like a soulless Barbie doll:

I lived in Japan for three years, and I worked in a junior high school in Japan for two of those years. To say I've had enough of Hatsune Miku would be an understatement. During the concert, I had Vietnam-style flashbacks of my students running in circles around me squealing and waving Hatsune Miku pen cases in my face. My students all think she's soooooo "kawaii." No, I'm sorry, Hatsune Miku's cracked-out hamster voice is not kawaii. It sounds like Satan playing a violin with a buzz-saw. Worst of all, her animators dedicate so much of their effort on perfecting the physics of her hair and clothing, they completely neglect to add any sort of emotion to her face. Seriously, Hatsune Miku is the stuff of nightmares. I was so glad when it was over because...

It was time for Jerome Flynn from Game of Thrones! Unfortunately, something had gone wrong in transportation, so Flynn was running late. While we waited, Game of Thrones cosplayers started gathering together to take pictures. One group couldn't find the Jon Snow cosplayer they'd seen earlier, so a guy in the audience shouted, "come on, bastard!" Hah.

Jerome Flynn showed up about fifteen minutes late, looking rather windswept but as devilishly handsome as ever.

Luckily, after some panel discussion and amusing Q&A, he began to perk up a little:

I learned all kinds of interesting things during the panel. First of all, Jerome Flynn has a slightly different accent from the one he uses for Bronn. He told us he originally auditioned Bronn with a Scottish accent, but they decided to constrain all the show's accents to a more British flavor because of the American audience (at which point Jerome Flynn gave us all a pointed look). He told us he only got the part of Bronn because he accidentally hit himself in the face with a cabinet door the day of his audition and showed up looking unintentionally rugged. Flynn also talked about filming fight scenes and working with Peter Dinkelage. He accepted a flower wreath from a fan and wore it on his head as he gave her a big hug. During the Q&A, Flynn told us he ultimately wants Arya to win the throne, and that, in season 4, the series is going to start diverging from the books. Oho...

After the panel was over, Solis and I decided to check out the Artist Alley. From what I've heard, New York Comic Con has the largest Artist Alley in the country. To be honest, I wasn't even sure what the alley was supposed to be, and I thought it would be kinda dull. I was a naive little hatchling.

Holy crap...

The first thing we spotted was a white car with drawings on it. Every few hours, a different artist came over and worked on the car. This was how it looked at the time:

The guy behind the car was drawing on it while I took this picture.

We ran into lots of cosplayers down in the alley, including this unbelievable Gambit. Holy crap, look at this guy! He had the freaky contacts and everything!

Hey man, um... call me, maybe?

I also ran into a cosplayer who wins the award for Biggest Balls at the Con. She was dressed as Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Seriously. She actually had the audacity to show up dressed as Joffrey, the most hated man in the history of television. Here's the worst/most hilarious part: when I asked if I could take her picture, Joffrey said, "Sure. Can I get my fiancee in it with me?" Then she pulled over a Sansa cosplayer. Oooooooooh. Balls, man. Serious balls. We got a whole group together:

Oh, Sansa, your smile says "yes," but your eyes tell me "no."

We continued wandering the Artist Alley to check out all the stupid amateur... um... amateur... is that... is that the cover art for the Kid Loki run of Journey into Mystery...? Is that woman over there the cover artist...? Is she working right there at the table...?! Live?!

No waaaaaaaaay.....

Holy bajeezus, it's Stephanie Hans. You mean to tell me this Artist Alley has actual comic book artists?! Like, these people are all professionals?! Holy shiiiiiiiit, why didn't anyone tell me?! As someone who is more than a little obsessed with the Kid Loki run of Journey into Mystery, I had a fangirl stroke for several moments before I finally approached the table and asked if I could buy a print. Hans asked me if I wanted her to sign it, and it was like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! I have Stephanie Hans' autograph, whaaaaaaat?!

AAAAAAAAAAGH.

The Artist Alley was unbelievable. As we wandered around, we started to see people like Oliver Coipel, and a zillion other names I recognized from the comics I've been reading. I couldn't believe it. It was like an endless maze of artwork. I wound up buying a print from the incredibly talented Sasha Yosselani:

Truly astounding. 

After looping through the Artist Alley for an hour, we decided to venture back out. Solis and I wound up doing the Comic Con scavenger hunt. We followed the clues on the mobile app to find twelve QR codes scattered throughout the Javits Center. It was a good way to find new areas, such as the Superman display commemorating his 75th anniversary:

They even had the suits worn by the late Christopher Reeve:

Out in the showroom, we found people doing live art:

And a bunny people could doodle on with chalk. I signed my initials.

As we continued on, we heard a guy shout, "Thor! Hey, Thor! I've been lookin' for you all day, motherfucker!" We turned around and came to face with motherfuckin' Nick Fury!

Not far from there, we found Loki trying to escape Nick Fury.

Solis asked him how he got out of prison, and Loki said, "there's always a way."

Later, we found an area with awesome video game weapons on display:

There were tons of cosplayers in the showroom, such as Sailor Moon:

And Edward Scissorhands!

There was a really cool Iron Man display full of suit models:

And this souped-up car thing you could take pictures in:

I don't even know what this is, but it's cool:

More awesome cosplayers!

Solis and another Thor found a Lady Loki at the same time. Ambush!

Oh sweet Jesus, it's Pyramid Head......

Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife...

This is just damn awesome:

The mutants ran into the No-Face!

Holy crap, this Storm is amazing:

Those contacts!

As we traveled along, I saw an incredible Kid Loki cosplayer and chased her down for a photo. The next thing I knew, she and Solis were hugging. I was sooooo confused. Turns out they're old friends! Check out this amazing Kid Loki copslay!

Oh Loki, I see what you did there, you troublemaker.

While we were chatting with Kid Loki, a Balder and a Leah from Journey into Mystery joined us! I don't have many friends who are into nerdy stuff like JiM, so it was really cool hanging out with other fans! While we were chatting, lo' and behold, a Lady Loki showed up!

And not far from there was yet another Leah!

For the record, Solis and I did complete the scavenger hunt before the day was over. We were excited for our promised prize, but it was just a Comic Con sticker and a 20% off coupon for an online store. Oh well.

It was getting late, and the second day of the convention was sadly drawing to a close. On the way out, we passed a few more cosplayers. I've been to several anime conventions in my life, and I've seen many attempts at Vash the Stampede, but I gotta hand it to this guy... this is the best Vash I have ever seen:

We also saw this amazing Dr. Strange near the exit:

And with that, Solis and I left the Javits Center and trudged back to our decrepit Y.M.C.A. to get some sleep. We'd need some energy for Day 3!

Hope you enjoyed my pictures and stories! In Part 2, I'll talk about more panels, angry mobs, and lots more cosplay!

Stay tuned for Part 2!