NEW YORK COMIC CON 2013: PART 2

A bit late, but here's the conclusion of my New York Comic Con adventure! Having survived three nights in the unholy Y.M.C.A., my friend Solis and I were finally ready to tackle Comic Con day 3!

Note: If anyone sees any pictures here that they want taken down, email me at comicallyoverblown@gmail.com and I'll gladly remove them!

Day 3

Saturday was the most crowded and had the biggest panels. There was the Grand Theft Auto panel, the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. panel, and The Walking Dead panel. Solis and I knew if wanted even the slightest hope of seeing a big panel, we'd have to line up pretty early. Before staking a claim, however, we went back to the Artist Alley to see more cosplayers!

Here we've got a great Rogue and Mystique, as well as an amazing Ultron. His face glowed and everything!

Avengers: The Age of Awesome

More awesome:

Down by the Artist Alley, the car they'd been drawing on had some new additions:

Heeeeey, another Loki!

We also saw a Loki standing around with chains on his wrists, who kept posing for fans with the chains in his mouth like some kinda kinky bastard. Is Fetish-Wear Loki going to become the hot new cosplay after Thor: The Dark World? Tumblr says yes.

Back in the exhibition hall, Solis found Dante!

And then we ran across... The Queen of Hearts and Ursula, holy crap:

She even has Flotsam and Jetsam with her!

By that point, we knew we'd dicked around long enough. A staff guy told us if we had any hope of getting into The Walking Dead panel, we would have to join the line immediately. Wait, The Walking Dead panel...? I was hoping to see the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D panel in the room before that.......

That was when I got my first inkling of impending doom (besides waking up that morning in a Y.M.C.A. bunk bed with no railing and staring down into the abyss below).

So we joined the line four hours early. The line was pretty long, and I could already see why this wasn't going to work. Remember how I suffered through the Hatsune Miku panel the day before and then kept my seat for the Game of Thrones panel afterwards? Yeah, see, you can do that at Comic Con. They don't clear the rooms between panels. That meant some people sat down in that two-thousand-person room for the first panel on Saturday and just stayed.

Wuh oh.

A couple panels ended and we did move forward each time. That was somewhat encouraging.

Then Problem #1 happened: There was no break between the two WC Network panels.

What the actual fuck. They didn't let anyone in between the two panels. Everyone in line was furious. The temperature in the room started to increase, and people were starting to say... rather unpleasant things. I told myself not to worry about it. Solis and I were on the last loop of the line, and there was still hope. If we made it in on the next round, we might not make it in for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but there was still plenty of hope for The Walking Dead.

Then the WC panel ended and the line moved - but not enough for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Crap. Solis and I found ourselves standing in a crowd of increasingly agitated people. The S.H.I.E.L.D. panel started, and they displayed it on a large screen with a sound system like an 80's boom box shoved underwater. I told myself, hey, at least we could see the panel from outside the room, but that wasn't enough for most people.

That's when the ugliness started. For some reason, The Walking Dead fans decided to take aaaaall their anger out on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. When the host of the S.H.I.E.L.D. panel asked who was excited, the WD fans actually started booing. Wow, real mature, guys.

Then the obscenities started. Throughout the entire AoS panel, the WD fans booed and shouted and pushed each other like little children. They shouted things like, "nobody cares about your shitty show!" and "get out of the room!" Even when Iain De Caestecker (Agent Fitz) and Elizabeth Henstridge (Agent Simmons) took the stage, the WD fans yelled and jeered at them. Security tried to control the line, but it didn't do any good. One girl kept turning to me and saying stuff like, "who the hell cares about this shitty show, right?!" Eventually, I couldn't stand it any longer, so I told her that, um, some of us were actually there to see Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Shocking, right? To her credit, she did apologize to me, but that didn't stop all the others from acting like angry babies. The WD fans verbally assaulted the AoS fans for an hour straight, despite the fact that tons of people in line were wearing Marvel clothing and merch. It was really upsetting, because up until that point, I'd only met cool people at Comic Con. All the fandoms had moved about the convention in perfect harmony, and it wasn't strange to see a Heisenberg fist-bumping a Thor cosplayer. Seriously, everyone had been so cool and accepting and friendly...

Until I met The Walking Dead fans... They were a festering cesspool of spoiled brats. I actually heard a girl say, "our dad paid fifty dollars for us to be here, we should be allowed to go in!" I know it sounds made up, but with Solis as my witness, somebody actually freaking said that. The girl next to me kept shouting, "Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!" over and over into my fucking ear during the AoS panel, then talked about beating people up to get in. Other people yelled insults at the actors while they talked (thankfully, the actors probably couldn't hear them inside). Every now and then, security allowed a few people to enter, so they would ask the line to hold up their fingers to indicate how many seats they wanted. Every time this happened, a guy near me held up his middle fingers at the staff and shouted "party of one!" Real fucking mature. Security got so fed up with the Walking Dead fans, they actually shut the garage door leading into the panel room and decided not to let anyone else in.

Fucking great, Walking Dead fans. Way to go.

I was furious, but I tried to watch as much of the S.H.I.E.L.D. panel as I could, despite the sound system. Here's what I gathered:

- De Caestecker's favorite superhero is Agent Ward (does that count? I guess it can).

- Henstridge is a huge Loki fan and thinks he just needs someone to sit down with him and talk it out (everyone in line went dead silent when Loki's name came up. It was a wonderfully peaceful moment).

- Every scene in AoS is filmed on site, so a scene in Paris is filmed in Paris, a scene in Sweden is filmed in Sweden, etc.

- The show's been contracted for a full twenty-two episode season.

- Yes, we will learn how the hell Agent Coulson is still alive.

- De Caestecker and Henstridge looked very uncomfortable. I'm not sure if it was because it was their first time talking in front of two-thousand people, if it was because they had a hard time answering the questions, or if it was because they knew everyone in that room was a actually spot-saving Walking Dead fan and it made shit awkward.

Unfortunately, when the AoS panel showed the audience some new footage, they turned off the screen outside. Omigawd, so lame! The guy behind me jokingly said, "I bet they're showing a Captain America 2 trailer in there." I gasped and told him not to say things like that, to which he responded, "Bucky's probably in there right now!" No. No, you do not say things like that, sir. You just don't. Later on, I heard the video showed something about Coulson's backstory. What the hell, why didn't we get to see it too?!

When the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. panel ended, all hell broke loose. Everyone shoved forward like a bad mosh pit. Of all the terrible things I saw The Walking Dead fans do that day, the woman in the mosh pit with a baby in her arms was by far the worst. That woman was in line with that infant for over five hours, and then she kept it in her arms while she participated in the angry mob. I guess seeing Daryl is more important to her than her baby's safety. One woman was sitting on the floor and didn't get up fast enough, so the line decided to trample over her. When the host of the WD panel congratulated the fans who managed to stay in the room the entire day, the line outside started screaming, "get them out! Get them out!" - even though those people technically waited longer. I mean, really, people?! Really?! Is the cast of The Walking Dead worth this kind of behavior?!

Ten minutes into the panel, I'd had enough. Solis and I skipped out of the line and moved to the back of the room with all the other people who didn't get inside. Here's a small portion of the crowd that tried and failed to get into The Walking Dead panel:

Anyways, I gathered what I could:

- A little girl (yes, there were small children in The Walking Dead panel for some reason) got up during the Q&A and said she had gifts for the cast. They let her come up on stage and hug all the cast members. When she asked Norman Reedus (Daryl) for a hug, he put her on his lap and let her stay there for the rest of the panel. The little dropped something on his lap and bent down to retrieve it. The crowd around me started making really inappropriate noises. Really, guys?! She was, like, seven!!!

- Something happens in season 4 that involves, like... an entire hippie jam festival worth of zombies. They showed us the clip without turning off the screen outside.

- The cast was nice enough to acknowledge all of us stuck in line and thanked us for coming. That got the otherwise irate crowd to applaud.

- Any time a cast member is killed off, the other actors throw them a huge dinner party.

- At the end of the panel, when the little girl left, Norman Reedus gave her his water bottle. D'aaaaw.

Anyways, that's all I could gather. The most important thing to take away from this story is that the Comic Con panel system is severely flawed. I don't understand why that horrible system is in place. Right off the top of my head, I can list four other ways the panel system could've been done differently:

1. Have a ticket system in which people pay for and/or reserve seats for the high-profile panels ahead of time.

2. Only allow a few hundred people into the earlier panels, then increase the number of seats available as more major panels happen. That would will limit the number of people who can hold spots all day.

3. Make people leave between panels.

4. Separate the major fandoms. Why the hell did the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. panel have to be in the same room as The Walking Dead panel?! They're completely different fandoms, and hardly any AoS fans got to go to the panel because the WD fans took all the seats. The Javits Center had other rooms with stages that could've separated the panels.

I mean, seriously, aren't any of the above options better than what happened?! NYCC inadvertently started a fandom war, and prevented fans from going to their own panels. Nerdiness is becoming more mainstream, and Comic Con is getting bigger and bigger every year. The old system isn't working, and it's time for a change. I hope things are done differently in the future.

Regardless, the behavior of The Walking Dead fans positively deplorable. I'd like to think they felt ashamed of themselves later, but entitled people like that rarely see the error of their ways. Fandoms are communities, guys. You don't trample your neighbors, and you don't shout obscenities at strangers. Furthermore, you don't publicly shit on fandoms you don't belong to. Daddy's money doesn't mean you deserve to see a celebrity more than someone who traveled all the way to NYCC from, say, Europe. I'm sure 99.9% of all Walking Dead fans are good, rational people, but the behavior at NYCC made them look really fucking bad. Let's hope they show more self-control next year.

So after failing all the high-profile panels, Solis and I trudged back to the Artist Alley with our heads hanging in defeat. We hoped seeing some nice artwork would heal our wounds.

The painted car has a brand new hood:

We also found some lovely lady Avengers:

Thinking maybe we could make it to one last event, Solis and I went to the cosplay competition, only to find another crazy line. We asked the staff lady if there was any hope, and she said maybe she could slip us inside later. In the meantime, we had a long conversation with her about what it's like staffing such a massive event, and traded stories about peoples' inappropriate behavior when they didn't get into the panels they wanted.

In the end, we couldn't get into the cosplay competition, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. All the competitors stood outside the room awaiting their turn, so we got to take good pictures of them.

See that Rocket Raccoon? His mouth moved up and down somehow. I have no idea how it worked, but the girl operating the suit made it look like Rocket Raccoon was talking!

That Queen Amidala is amazing.

While the competition was going on, I took a picture of this awesome Jack Frost cosplay outside. This is the kind of attention to detail that I love to see in cosplay. She has sparkly frost on her shoulders, and she's wearing flip-flops with transparent straps to make herself look barefoot. Totally awesome.

Luckily, I did find out the results of the competition. Rocket Raccoon won for her crazy animatronic raccoon mask. Great job, girl!

And thus concludes Day 3 of Comic Con. One more day to go!

DAY 4

Had a helluva morning. Solis set the alarm on her phone, but the charger came out in the middle of the night and the phone died. Why didn't I have my phone running an auxiliary alarm? Because when my alarm went off the previous morning, my phone vibrated itself right off the bunk and vanished between the mattress and the bed frame below. I couldn't find that fucker for ten minutes. The stars just weren't aligned in our favor. Instead of waking up at 7, we got up at 9. Crap.

Nonetheless, we wanted some damn breakfast. I refused to believe New York bagels are that much better than Midwest bagels, so Solis and I went to another bagel shop. The place was called Ess-a-Bagel, and they had a marvelous display:

And more food to put Chicago's bagels to shame:

How can I ever go back?!

Because we woke up late, we had to head straight to the one panel we were hoping to see before the convention was over: the Women of Marvel panel. We had to join the line immediately if we wanted to get a spot inside. Not gonna lie, the Women of Marvel panel wound up being one of my favorite parts of NYCC. I didn't really know what to expect. Were they gonna talk about female comic characters from Marvel?

Luckily, we did get in and we got good seats. Turned out the panelists were all women who work for Marvel:

Panelists included (in no particular order): Janet Lee (a Marvel cover artist), Jeanine Schafer (an assistant editor at Marvel and the host of the panel), Judy Stephens (who runs Marvel's cosplay blog), Lauren Sankovitch (a Marvel comics editor), Sara Pichelli (Guardians of the Galaxy artist), Kellie Sue DeConnick (the writer of Captain Marvel), Natalie Shaw (an assistant editor), Ellie Pyle (working on the upcoming Black Widow comics), Sana Amanat (working on Captain Marvel), and Stephanie Hans (the cover artist for the Kid Loki run of Journey into Mystery and the awesome woman who signed my print on Friday). Hopefully I got all those names right. I took notes during the panel and used the internet to fill in the gaps, but I can't make any promises. Sorry if I missed anyone!

This panel couldn't have come at a better time. After being verbally assaulted by angry Walking Dead fans for hours the day before, the atmosphere in the Women of Marvel panel was like coming up for fresh air in a sewer drainage pond. The panel was about women and their role in the world of modern comics. The room had a family-like atmosphere, and everyone was metaphorically patting each other on the back. The panelists talked about equality in comics and the changing demographics of comic book fans. During the Q&A session, female fans stood up to thank the panelists for helping Marvel become more progressive, and awesome male fans stood up to echo the same sentiment.

Personally, I've never been one of those raging feminists who holds up picket signs and shouts at men. I accept that I'm a woman, and I love a lot of things about being a woman. I fucking love makeup, I love dresses, and I think wearing pigtails everyday is seriously underrated. However, I was raised to believe that I should have all the same opportunities as men, and that I'm not a second-class citizen. It was really awesome to see so many women being passionate about making sure that happens.

Lately, the Captain Marvel series by Kellie Sue DeConnick has become a huge hit among the ladies. DeConnick had all the Captain Marvel cosplayers in the audience stand up to show just how many of the women in the room were inspired by a strong, female character like Carol Danvers. The panelists answered questions about things like Marvel's Jane Foster campaign for getting girls into science, the controversy over skimpy outfits, and unintentionally sexist men in the comic book industry. I wish I could've recorded the panel because it was so interesting. DeConnick emphasized that more and more women are reading comic books, and that "white males" should no longer be the "default" for main characters. Women, minorities, homosexuals... so many people deserve to be better represented in comic books. Later, DeConnick had all the women in the audience stand up if they were interested in working in the comic books industry. I'd say well over fifty girls stood up. Y'know what, girls? I'm rootin' for ya!

On a side note, being the huge Kid Loki fan that I am, I have to mention the rather interesting announcement they made during the panel about Loki getting his own series in February, entitled Loki: Agent of Asgard, (which Lauren Sankovitch will be editing):

It's a rather unusual announcement when you consider the fact that the current Loki of Marvel comics is essentially a thirteen-year-old boy. Apparently, something happens in Young Avengers #11 that will cause him to have a major growth spurt, which would end Kid Loki's run in Marvel comics - probably forever. Personally, I stopped reading about Kid Loki after Journey into Mystery, and didn't bother reading Young Avengers because, to be perfectly honest, JiM left me completely heartbroken. Before the series was over, I felt like someone had ripped out my soul and done a violent river dance on it. It may have been one of the saddest stories I'd ever read. Afterwards, I chose to detach myself from Kid Loki to avoid anymore emotional trauma.

Nonetheless, I was initially excited about the Loki: Agent of Asgard announcement, because I thought it might be a chance for the character to be utilized in less depressing ways. That is, until they invited one lucky girl in a Wiccan costume to go up on stage and read a copy of the still unreleased Young Avengers #11. She sat on stage reading it for awhile, and then she stood up while a panelist was talking and shouted, "IT'S AS BAD AS YOU ALL THINK!"

Oh... okay.

Later, a girl in a Kid Loki costume asked if she could also read YA #11. The panelists grudgingly agreed (the girl was way too adorable to say "no" to), so she sat on the stage and read it. When she was done, she silently got up and hugged the panelist who gave it to her, then went back to her seat looking like she was gonna cry.

Wonderful. That's very comforting, especially after Lauren Sankovitch promised she would use the Loki: Agent of Asgard series to "lie to you, lie to you, lie to you." Guys, I don't think my feelings can take anymore abuse. Seriously. The wounds from Journey into Mystery are still way too fresh.

In the mean time, I should go read Captain Marvel. Some girl power will diffuse the feels.

So enough about panels. Let's finish off the Comic Con report with lots and lots of cosplay! After the panel, I went back to the exhibition hall to try and capture as many cool photos as possible. First up is this absolutely incredible Freya from Final Fantasy IX. Anyone who knows me knows that FFIX is my one true love, so I may have scared this girl with my unnecessary excitement over her awesome costume:

Dat javelin!

We also found an interesting set of Jane Austen-esque Avengers characters:

As Comic Con started drawing to a close, Solis and I found this guy, who let people write whatever the hell they wanted on post-it notes and stick them to his body.

There was one on his backside that said, "I touched the butt," along with a cartoon penis, and a post-it note that said something like, "smelly ass walrus." Ah, people.

Dayum, check out these Dark Links:

And Wayne's World! Hell yeah!

Schwing!

On Friday, I saw this amazing Red Mist cosplay from Kick-Ass, but the guy got away before I could get a photo. Luckily, this amazing group of cosplayers from Kick-Ass 2 way more than made up for it:

I also found a Hawkeye who ran out of arrows. Hah!

"I killed eleven. You're welcome."

I left Comic Con feeling really bummed out and depressed that it was over. Luckily, there was one last awesome person outside to make my day:

That night, Solis wanted to get another win for New York City. She'd already proven their bagels are better than Chicago's, but what about the pizza? In order to pit New York's flat pizza over Chicago's deep dish, we went to Lombardi's - one of the first pizza joints to open up in New York City.

Here's our beauty:

The verdict? I think the two kinds of pizza are simply too different to compare. Lombardi's pizza is awesome, but deep dish is awesome for other reasons. I'd say I love them both equally. Solis showed me how to crack the crust and fold the pizza in half like a true New Yorker, so now I can eat pizza like a total boss.

Afterwards, we stopped at a place called Baked by Melissa for mini cupcakes!

The mint-chocolate chip is to die for.

The following day was my last in New York, which meant an obligatory trip to Times Square:

And the Disney Store:

I keep forgetting Disney sorta own Marvel now. As a total merch whore, I really can't complain:

Awesome:

I want that Nightcrawler. Seriously.

I also want a castle.

And a chandelier.

I'm not just a comic book fan, I'm also a fatass, which meant an obligatory trip to the M&M store:

Which has a freaky Elvis M&M:

Blue suede shoes. Get it? Get it?!

Here's The Great Wall of Calories:

And a machine that tells you your M&M color:

Thanks. Blue is only, like, one of my least favorite colors...

Afterwards, we went to the infamous Katz's Delicatessen. It was one of the first delis to open in New York, and the site of Sally's infamous fake orgasm from When Harry Met Sally:

The place was packed:

But oh-so-fucking worth it:

Are you even seeing the size of that matzoh ball?! Sweet fancy Moses that thing was huge! And dat pastrami! And dat mustard! Unf.

Here's where Sally embarrassed the crap out of Harry:

Y'know what? I think I did have what she had.

Last but not least, we stopped off at the massive Midtown Comics store to use the 20% off coupon they gave us at Comic Con. Midtown Comics is two floors of win:

The comic book shop was a great way to end the trip on a nerdy note. I bought as many back issues of Young Avengers as I could (my body isn't ready), as well as a few other comics I've been meaning to pick up. Superior Spider-Man better be as good as everyone says it is, and Young Avengers better not break my heart again. Except I know it will.

Finally, there was an American Idol finalist on the plane I took home. Yay?

In conclusion: New York Comic Con is awesome, and I'm totally gonna try to go again next year.

And maybe I'll cosplay.

Should I cosplay?

Y/y?

Definitely yes.

NEW YORK COMIC CON 2013: PART 1

New York Comic Con is the second largest comic and pop culture convention in the U.S. This was my first time at Comic Con, and as a newly hatched comic book nerdling with a 4-day pass, I was damn excited. I traveled all the way from Chicago just for this event, and I've got lots of stories to share!

Note: If anyone sees any photos on here that they wish to have removed, please email me at comicallyoverblown@gmail.com and I'll gladly take them down for you!

DAY 1

I was staying in New York with a friend of mine whom we'll call Solis for privacy purposes. She and I are friends from my days as a zookeeper - er, I mean, junior high school English teacher in Japan. To keep things inexpensive, we decided to stay at the Y.M.C.A. which, for the record, is not fun to stay at - unless your definition of "fun" is chewing gum on the floors of the showers, a mattress like a loose hammock, two toilet stalls on a floor with a hundred girls, and a raging mold problem. Lesson learned.

After escaping the Y.M.C.A. - where I'm pretty sure the movie Hostel was filmed - Solis set out to prove to me that New York bagels are superior to Chicago ones. To do so, she took me to Tal Bagels, where I discovered that yes... yes they are. New York bagels are fucking awesome. So crispy on the outside, so chewy on the inside. Look at this glory. Look at it!

It's beautiful *cries*

NYCC takes place at the Javits Center, which turned out to be a sprawling metropolis. I seriously did not realize the scope of this thing until I got there. I mean, holy crap...

That right there is just the line to get into the building, and the weirdos began appearing immediately:

It's a cactus in a cowboy hat. Duh.

At last, we got in!

The true size of the place wasn't obvious at first, but it just kept getting bigger.

I mean, I'm from Chicago. I'm not some small-town bumpkin who has a seizure at the sight of a mall with more than twenty stores, but dayum, there was an ass-load of people. Wow.

Right out front they had these really cool painted cars:

Cosplayers began appearing at the entrance, like this lady Deadpool. 

Hey! Hey! What the hell did I do?!

She was certainly sexier than the cross-dressing Wonder Woman.

Not sure where to begin, Solis and I wandered into the exhibition hall. The first thing we saw upon entering was Tom's Rhinoplasty. We walked in and it was just like, boom, South Park:

That was the moment when Solis and I became completely overwhelmed by the sheer awesomeness of Comic Con. I mean, the exhibition hall was huge. We stood there for several minutes going, "where the fuck do we start?!" 

After we got over our paralysis, one of the first things we ran across was Lola from "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.!"

Hey good lookin'!

The Marvel area had a massive Thor advertisement, too:

*internal seizure*

It was the 10th anniversary of The Walking Dead comic series:

This was also happening:

And this. Because nothing says "ready for sex" like a Star Trek bathrobe:

For the record, both my parents are Trekkies.

A wall of plushies:

But wait, what's... what's Thor's hand doing down there?! Thor, stop that!

"I need an adult!"

Even Harry Potter was represented at Comic Con:

I found a Bellatrix Lestrange cutout and took a picture with her because why the fuck not:

Hey, look, Game of Thrones bobbleheads!

They had a Ned Stark one, so I made a really inappropriate joke, and Solis told me it was "too soon."

We came across a booth selling really rare autographs. Like, holy crap, you can buy Brandon Lee and Heath Ledger autographs if you've got thousands of dollars in your back pocket:

We also found a giant Lego thing from Halo:

And Star Trek figurines:

"Live long and buy our shit"

Also found the DeLorean!

And the motherfuckin' Batmobile:

It's a special moment when you realize you're riding an escalator behind the Power Rangers:

Hey, we found Inspector Gadget! His propeller spun around and everything!

Hey, old-school Batman and Superman!

And Morbidly Obese Pikachu:

Time to lay off the Aprijuice.

I don't even know what's going on anymore:

Omigawd, they were selling Leeloo Dallas Multi Pass:

Totally overwhelmed by all the stuff going on, Solis and I wandered over to the painfully overpriced food court to get some pasta. Every single table had a Ninja Gaiden hot sauce sitting on it:

Keep away from balls?! Shouldn't be a problem.

The sauce was legitimately delicious, so I dumped about a fourth of the bottle on my pasta.

Later in the day, Solis and I decided to go to the kickoff show, Comedy Mutant, featuring Brian Posehn (the current co-writer of Deadpool), Mike Drucker (a writer for the Jimmy Fallon show), Myq Kaplan, and Janeane Garofalo (plus a few others). The staff let the line enter in small groups only, and the lady cut the line off right in front of a guy in a Predator costume. The people behind him kept yelling at him to push past her 'cause he's, "a freakin' Predator!" and he "doesn't have to take that!" Unfortunately, the Predator was no match for a middle-aged woman with a staff badge.

Onto Comedy Mutant!

Brian Posehn opened the show, then a bunch of other comedians performed. Afterwards, Posehn returned for the closing routine. All the comedians were hilarious, especially because they were very nerdy, and they really understood the audience. The biggest surprise of the night was the unannounced Trevor Moore from The Whitest Kids U' Know. He came on stage with his guitar and sang songs about circumcision and the joys of drinking mouthwash. You can check out the hilarious music video here:

I was pretty excited to see Janeane Garofalo, but I'll admit, it really wasn't her crowd. Her jokes fell pretty flat. She had a notebook with her that she kept consulting, because apparently she didn't remember her material. That doesn't seem very professional...

The star of the show was undoubtedly Brian Posehn. That man is so goddamn funny, I actually wanted him to get off the stage because I was getting a stomachache from laughing. I don't think my diaphragm was meant to do whatever the hell it was doing. Posehn's act is about how "fat" and "old" and "gross" he is, which I found horrifyingly relatable despite being a twenty-four year old girl. My favorite bit of the night was when Posehn talked about how The Avengers is a movie that has to be viewed naked, and that Loki getting Hulk-smashed is a "dick out" moment. Thank you, Posehn. Truly.

When the kickoff ended, Solis and I went back to our nightmare hostel to get some sleep in time for...

Day 2

Solis decided to do a Thor cosplay, so I forced us to take a selfie together:

#fabulous

This was what greeted us when we walked in the front doors:

There's an actual person in that suit.

First up on our Friday agenda was to check out the Game of Thrones panel with Jerome Flynn, who plays the roguish sellsword, Bronn. Solis and I went to the panel early in order to get a good seat. What we didn't realize, however, was that we'd actually gone in so early, we now had to sit through another panel, which turned out to be an hour-long concert video of Hatsune Miku. For those who don't know, Hatsune Miku is a computerized Japanese vocalist. She also looks like a soulless Barbie doll:

I lived in Japan for three years, and I worked in a junior high school in Japan for two of those years. To say I've had enough of Hatsune Miku would be an understatement. During the concert, I had Vietnam-style flashbacks of my students running in circles around me squealing and waving Hatsune Miku pen cases in my face. My students all think she's soooooo "kawaii." No, I'm sorry, Hatsune Miku's cracked-out hamster voice is not kawaii. It sounds like Satan playing a violin with a buzz-saw. Worst of all, her animators dedicate so much of their effort on perfecting the physics of her hair and clothing, they completely neglect to add any sort of emotion to her face. Seriously, Hatsune Miku is the stuff of nightmares. I was so glad when it was over because...

It was time for Jerome Flynn from Game of Thrones! Unfortunately, something had gone wrong in transportation, so Flynn was running late. While we waited, Game of Thrones cosplayers started gathering together to take pictures. One group couldn't find the Jon Snow cosplayer they'd seen earlier, so a guy in the audience shouted, "come on, bastard!" Hah.

Jerome Flynn showed up about fifteen minutes late, looking rather windswept but as devilishly handsome as ever.

Luckily, after some panel discussion and amusing Q&A, he began to perk up a little:

I learned all kinds of interesting things during the panel. First of all, Jerome Flynn has a slightly different accent from the one he uses for Bronn. He told us he originally auditioned Bronn with a Scottish accent, but they decided to constrain all the show's accents to a more British flavor because of the American audience (at which point Jerome Flynn gave us all a pointed look). He told us he only got the part of Bronn because he accidentally hit himself in the face with a cabinet door the day of his audition and showed up looking unintentionally rugged. Flynn also talked about filming fight scenes and working with Peter Dinkelage. He accepted a flower wreath from a fan and wore it on his head as he gave her a big hug. During the Q&A, Flynn told us he ultimately wants Arya to win the throne, and that, in season 4, the series is going to start diverging from the books. Oho...

After the panel was over, Solis and I decided to check out the Artist Alley. From what I've heard, New York Comic Con has the largest Artist Alley in the country. To be honest, I wasn't even sure what the alley was supposed to be, and I thought it would be kinda dull. I was a naive little hatchling.

Holy crap...

The first thing we spotted was a white car with drawings on it. Every few hours, a different artist came over and worked on the car. This was how it looked at the time:

The guy behind the car was drawing on it while I took this picture.

We ran into lots of cosplayers down in the alley, including this unbelievable Gambit. Holy crap, look at this guy! He had the freaky contacts and everything!

Hey man, um... call me, maybe?

I also ran into a cosplayer who wins the award for Biggest Balls at the Con. She was dressed as Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Seriously. She actually had the audacity to show up dressed as Joffrey, the most hated man in the history of television. Here's the worst/most hilarious part: when I asked if I could take her picture, Joffrey said, "Sure. Can I get my fiancee in it with me?" Then she pulled over a Sansa cosplayer. Oooooooooh. Balls, man. Serious balls. We got a whole group together:

Oh, Sansa, your smile says "yes," but your eyes tell me "no."

We continued wandering the Artist Alley to check out all the stupid amateur... um... amateur... is that... is that the cover art for the Kid Loki run of Journey into Mystery...? Is that woman over there the cover artist...? Is she working right there at the table...?! Live?!

No waaaaaaaaay.....

Holy bajeezus, it's Stephanie Hans. You mean to tell me this Artist Alley has actual comic book artists?! Like, these people are all professionals?! Holy shiiiiiiiit, why didn't anyone tell me?! As someone who is more than a little obsessed with the Kid Loki run of Journey into Mystery, I had a fangirl stroke for several moments before I finally approached the table and asked if I could buy a print. Hans asked me if I wanted her to sign it, and it was like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! I have Stephanie Hans' autograph, whaaaaaaat?!

AAAAAAAAAAGH.

The Artist Alley was unbelievable. As we wandered around, we started to see people like Oliver Coipel, and a zillion other names I recognized from the comics I've been reading. I couldn't believe it. It was like an endless maze of artwork. I wound up buying a print from the incredibly talented Sasha Yosselani:

Truly astounding. 

After looping through the Artist Alley for an hour, we decided to venture back out. Solis and I wound up doing the Comic Con scavenger hunt. We followed the clues on the mobile app to find twelve QR codes scattered throughout the Javits Center. It was a good way to find new areas, such as the Superman display commemorating his 75th anniversary:

They even had the suits worn by the late Christopher Reeve:

Out in the showroom, we found people doing live art:

And a bunny people could doodle on with chalk. I signed my initials.

As we continued on, we heard a guy shout, "Thor! Hey, Thor! I've been lookin' for you all day, motherfucker!" We turned around and came to face with motherfuckin' Nick Fury!

Not far from there, we found Loki trying to escape Nick Fury.

Solis asked him how he got out of prison, and Loki said, "there's always a way."

Later, we found an area with awesome video game weapons on display:

There were tons of cosplayers in the showroom, such as Sailor Moon:

And Edward Scissorhands!

There was a really cool Iron Man display full of suit models:

And this souped-up car thing you could take pictures in:

I don't even know what this is, but it's cool:

More awesome cosplayers!

Solis and another Thor found a Lady Loki at the same time. Ambush!

Oh sweet Jesus, it's Pyramid Head......

Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife...

This is just damn awesome:

The mutants ran into the No-Face!

Holy crap, this Storm is amazing:

Those contacts!

As we traveled along, I saw an incredible Kid Loki cosplayer and chased her down for a photo. The next thing I knew, she and Solis were hugging. I was sooooo confused. Turns out they're old friends! Check out this amazing Kid Loki copslay!

Oh Loki, I see what you did there, you troublemaker.

While we were chatting with Kid Loki, a Balder and a Leah from Journey into Mystery joined us! I don't have many friends who are into nerdy stuff like JiM, so it was really cool hanging out with other fans! While we were chatting, lo' and behold, a Lady Loki showed up!

And not far from there was yet another Leah!

For the record, Solis and I did complete the scavenger hunt before the day was over. We were excited for our promised prize, but it was just a Comic Con sticker and a 20% off coupon for an online store. Oh well.

It was getting late, and the second day of the convention was sadly drawing to a close. On the way out, we passed a few more cosplayers. I've been to several anime conventions in my life, and I've seen many attempts at Vash the Stampede, but I gotta hand it to this guy... this is the best Vash I have ever seen:

We also saw this amazing Dr. Strange near the exit:

And with that, Solis and I left the Javits Center and trudged back to our decrepit Y.M.C.A. to get some sleep. We'd need some energy for Day 3!

Hope you enjoyed my pictures and stories! In Part 2, I'll talk about more panels, angry mobs, and lots more cosplay!

Stay tuned for Part 2!